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The 12 Bad Habits That Hold Good People Back: Overcoming the Behavior Patterns That Keep You From Getting Ahead ReviewThink of this book as a psychologically-based opposite to Stephen Covey's 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.
The authors are both business psychologists, executive coaches for those with career problems, and directors of MBA career development at Harvard Business School. The book is well illustrated with examples of their concepts, drawn from actual cases they have worked on. I suspect you will recognize people you have met, as well as yourself, in these cases.
As the authors are well aware, a major flaw can sink someone who is otherwise a top performer. Improving an area where the person is strong will do less good than getting the substandard area up to normal or better.
Based on their years of experience they note, 'The ways people fail in their careers, however, are quite limited. People fail in the same ways, for the same reasons, over and over again, from one industry to another, from the lowest level to the highest . . . Moreover . . . many . . . people are amazingly unaware of the patterns of behavior they exhibit that are resulting in failure.' Talk about unconscious incompetence!
Part I of the book identifies 12 behaviors that can hold you back.
1. Never Feeling Good Enough (acrophobia or fear of career progress)
2. Seeing the World in Black and White (meritocrat or not seeing the relevance of loyalty, self-interest, or personality)
3. Doing Too Much, Pushing Too Hard (a hero, with an Achilles heel from overdoing it)
4. Avoiding Conflict at Any Cost (peacekeeper, who avoids even healthy conflict such as that required to overcome misconceptions)
5. Running Roughshod over the Opposition (bulldozer, a male role similar to an offensive lineman in football)
6. Rebel Looking for a Cause (rebels, who want attention more than results)
7. Always Swinging for the Fences (a home run style swinger who strikes out most of the time)
8. When Fear Is in the Driver's Seat (a pessimistic worrier, a naysayer out of fear)
9. Emotionally Tone Deaf (Mr. Spock from Star Trek, low emotional intelligence)
10. When No Job Is Good Enough (Coulda-been, who moves on because they feel inadequate, but don't want to face up to that)
11. Lacking a Sense of Boundaries (People who talk out of school)
12. Losing the Path (Alienated people who have lost their career vision of what they want from a career)
Each chapter in Part I contains a description of the dynamics of each pattern, how that role plays out in an organization, what the origins of the pattern are, and how to break the pattern. In the last case, the advice is sometimes different if the pattern is your own versus when you are trying to help someone else (such as a subordinate or peer) to do so. These are at least two examples in each section, evenly balanced between women and men.
In Part II, the authors look at the four psychological causes of these 12 behavioral problems:
1. Having a negatively-distorted self-image.
2. Not seeing the perspectives of others.
3. Not coming to terms with authority.
4. Not being comfortable with using power.
The authors describe in the chapters of Part I which of these base causes are involved with which patterns, and chapter 16 gives you help with examining your self-image. There is also a good section in Takeaways for ways to make the needed changes. The chapters also contain useful material to understand your own perceptual style from a Jungian perspective.
I found all of this material clear, and usefully directive.
But something more important was missing. I did not feel any strong desire to change, even where I could identify weaknesses. If you are like me, you will need to talk this through with your spouse, a close friend, or a colleague to help create the motivation to change. If you can afford and find an executive coach, that would be a good route also. If you cannot, you will have to rely on self-help. In this regard, you might find it useful to read or reread a book like Anthony Robbin's Awaken the Giant Within, which is excellent for helping to create the necessary self-motivation to change.
My suggestion is that you think about a situation that will probably happen in the future that you will regret for the rest of your life if you do not change. Maybe you'll have to move to another country to get a new job, and be cut off from your parents at a time when they need your help. Or perhaps your struggling teenager will have to move at a bad time in his or her high school years, harming your teenager's development. You know better than I what the risks are in your life and what you would regret. But do take the time to create a specific, realistic fear to replace the unrealistic one(s) you have today.
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