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Unstoppable Confidence: How to Use the Power of NLP to Be More Dynamic and Successful ReviewA more apt title for this book would be to call it "The Encyclopedia of Unstoppable Confidence".
I have not yet come across any other book, which focuses 100% on building greater confidence. This book gives you step by step detailed instructions to really "go for it".
Kent clearly explains the crucial difference between "confidence" and "competence" in the first few pages. I made the mistake of assuming that if I was competent in a specific area, than I automatically had confidence in that area.
Once you understand the distinction he gives a simple but highly effective formula
Competence + confidence = success
Have you ever had the feeling of a light bulb switching on in your head? Well I had that same feeling when I really understood the difference between "confidence" and "competence" and resolved to take the book more seriously.
On page 27 he gives a fantastic example about how to disassociate your emotions from yourself personally. In other words DONT take possession of something, which is just a mental process. Some examples of mental processes from the book are fear, shyness and depression. All of these are not actual things but just mental processes or sequences of thoughts that run in your mind.
A brilliant example and I quote from the book (page 26) "The language you use to describe what you are feeling impacts that feeling tremendously, and it is your knowledge, your awareness of these processes that gives you power over them. Just like when somebody said, "I' am depressed". What they've done is built that notion into their very being. Nobody can be depressed all the time. If they were, they wouldn't' call it depression. It'd just be their normal state of being. Instead, people who consider themselves depressed should be saying, "I run a process through my mind that causes me to experience certain pictures, sounds, and feelings inside that I have collectively labeled as depression."
Yes I know this sounds like some new age stuff, and until you TRY IT OUT yourself you will not realize the power of disassociating yourself from your processes. There are many more such examples, which switched on the light bulb in my head.
The book also talks about creating the kind of body language, which gives you unstoppable confidence. I wish there were some pictures of "steepling fingers" as I could think of a variety of ways to steeple fingers based on the authors explanation in the book and am not sure which is the correct way.
Another excellent technique is to parrot to create verbal rapport. The book lists key words/phrases to help people keep on talking non-stop and increase rapport. Be careful using them however because using them correctly will ensure that you will be listening to them for hours...ahh the price of success!!!
Another superb technique is to ask open-ended question, instead of yes/no type of questions to gain rapport.
My biggest gripe with the book is that while the author specifically mentions about creating a personal confidence calendar to schedule and practice various exercises in the book he does not give any suggested plans. This book contains so many different techniques for building confidence that unless you take good notes or read the book multiple times it is easy to miss some important techniques. I would have appreciated a sample step by step plan(menu) to incorporate in daily life, just like some of the dieting and exercise books suggest.
Obviously such a plan will be generalized but at least it will be a good starting point to the other alternative of digging through the book multiple times and/or make copious notes. The serious student will no doubt do what ever it takes and assimilate most of the techniques from the book. This is not a read and throw type of book. This is a book you will come back to again and again as you build layer upon layer of confidence techniques into your personality.
The cover design of a man stomping confidently makes me smile every time I look at it, which is good since this makes me pick up the book again!
The words on the page are densely packed in the book and it seemed liked it took forever to read a page. I sincerely feel every self-development book should reinforce concepts learned in each chapter by having a brief summary and/or short quiz and real life exercises at the end of each chapter. I wish this book had some of these to help reinforce the concepts at each stage.
If the book were to contain only one chapter "Twenty explosive techniques for unstoppable confidence" it would be worth it. One technique I already started using is called "rapid confidence at will". I used the PUMA GRRRROWL and felt simply awesome. I used some of the techniques, which appealed to me immediately, as I read the book. There are just sooooooo many techniques that I will keep going back to the book again and again.
I would have appreciated more examples of how the author used these techniques to overcome shyness in a variety of real life circumstances.
One section I particularly fell in love with is the chapter titled "Speaking the language of confidence". Kent contrasts the vocabulary of the shy person (who uses words like try, hope, attempt, wish etc) versus the vocabulary of the confident person (absolutely, guaranteed, sure, certainly etc). As I gained more awareness I am minimizing use of the shy persons vocabulary.
This book uses a lot of NLP based techniques, but thankfully the complex jargon is substituted for simple precise explanations. The appendix contains a comprehensive list of visual, auditory and kinesthetic qualities.
All in all an excellent book, and a MUST have in your personal success library if you are a serious student of success.
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